Everyone's got to face down the demons...

Everyone's got to face down the demons-
Maybe today we can put the past away.

--Third Eye Blind



For the past twelve days, I have spent countless hours with friends trying to put away the past. It hasn't quite worked, since I've been using them as more of a distraction than anything else, but I will say that through the desperation, through these terrible days, I have felt the love of my friends, and it has cushioned me against the many-cornered emptiness that threatens us.

So thank you.

Thank you, Sarahschwarz. Thank you, Kristine. Thank you, Danny. Thank you, Mallory. Thank you, James.

And thank you, Seth, for being stronger than I am. I'm sorry that I cannot help you through this; I hope that you know how much I love you.



And when I chose to live,
There was no joy, it's just a line I crossed.
I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost,
So I was not lost or found.

And if I was to sleep...
I knew my family had more truth to tell,
And so I travelled down a whispering well
To know myself through them.

...

When you live in a world,
Well, it gets into who you thought you'd be,
And now I laugh at how the world changed me:
I think life chose me after all.

--Dar Williams, "After All"