You know what I hate?
Testicles.
You all know what I'm talking about. The sagging white scrotum found hanging on the back of every oversized truck in Texas. My roommate came up with a brilliant plan for these people: for every truck we find that has a nasty-ass ballsack dangling from its rear, we shall give away a radical feminist bumper sticker--free of charge! Best case scenario, one of their similarly ill-equipped comrades will notice it before they do and hold it against them for years. Worst case scenario they find out who did it and beat us with golf clubs.
In my past several years here in Texas, I have come to the gradual understanding that, collectively, Texas Has a Tiny Penis. Think about it. Think of the gross overexaggerations. Everything's bigger in Texas. Really, boys? Everything?
Big state. Big trucks that have never seen a day's work. Big guns (oh baby, oh baby). Big hats. Big game trophies. Big football stadiums.
Big testaments to the feeling of inadequacy that leads to overcompensation.
It wouldn't surprise me if not a single male in Texas has an average-sized member. If there is such a man, I'll know him when I see him. Because he won't be bragging to his friends about the titties that he almost touched last night sported by a girl that he almost talked to.
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1 comment:
Hey. I like my big guns.
Like I told Masini when we were roommates & I was studying Freud for a G&D exam: "I must really like someone's penis because I LOVE my gun."
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